My mind doesn’t fit team sports

Putting yourself into areas that you don’t feel comfortable in life! just lately I’ve gone full circle with emotions, I hate team golf I love solo golf I love solo sport. I like helping others and training is important with others yet TEAM sport just doesn’t fit my current mindset and I’ve become bitter and my mind has over run with ISSUES from such team outings. Why do I get so screwed up with this? I have zero idea how or why my mind has taken offence with this.

So I’ve removed myself from the issue for now, It’s a shame as I had high hopes and getting selected was important I hope my inner mind was complete with being selected I guess it was!!

Family life is hard when your have bad thoughts running through your head all day long, I have a great family but I’m intent in wrecking good thinks, maybe this is down to my brain training as a youth and poor family support and zero backing, so I find it hard to feel secure when things go right, maybe this is the same with the TEAM vibe. I’m 46 should I be in control of my emotions more? again writing this helps push the issues out there, all i know is that I need to do more and pack my life with stuff to do not goals and pressure. Being relaxed and having a sense of freedom is more important than being stuck in a cycle of sh!t pushing to what will be a massive disapointment in life.

Oh do you have a mindset where you think everyone is watching you and this puts pressure on you from the start? in reality nobody gives a dam about you or your performances, how big your car is or your home, when did you last check out the carpark at the golf club and see what people drove? I removed facebook, Instagram and twitter apps from my phone, these app’s are not really social are they more anti social media, driven by images of how your doing and what you own or what you can make from them, youtube is a perfect example pushing ideas into your head that you need that latest FIX. If I go off pist don’t worry I have no script this is just popping into my head as I type, It’s FREE well I hope so.

Audible books have made progress, listening is better than reading for me and much needed time to keep me busy over my mind wondering along thinking what IF !! I need stuff to do without over doing it and becoming mentally tiring and frustrating, fitness and health have been good for 2 months+ last 3 weeks I’ve let myself into that hole again DRINKING just a little more than I set out and having zero control over the outcome. weight loss is important as this is the only goal I have set due wanting to be slim and fit, 11 pounds lost has given me motivation all be it last week I slipt for the first week since I started. Please tell me this isn’t the standard Rice reverting to type and moving slowly back to bad ways. The wife has moved on board with the healthier lifestyle onyl issue is we both like DRINKING enough not to stop it fully.

Right that’s enough I hope my sponge (brain) has given enough out to remove some space for good things to enter.

See you on the other side folks !

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